I was suppose to schedule a HSG (hysterosalpingogram) for this week, I assume, but I have been [purposely] putting it off. I want this procedure to happen. But does it have to happen now? No.
It's a strange feeling to going at this IF junk full throttle to pressing on the breaks just a tad. Enough to catch my breath or to allow to still live a life I want. I am slowing down. I'm going to enjoy my early twenties without a baby on my hip.
Let's toast to that!
Don't get me wrong. I do want a baby. But only if you have been in these shoes can you truly understand how exhausting, stressful, and hurtful this is. I am allowing myself to be OK and to step back and start to live again. This feels good and it feels right.
Besides, how can I be the world greatest aunt if I have a baby of my own?
No comments:
Post a Comment