At a Stand Still

I have complained many times.

Really?

Yes, it's true.

And here I go again.

Here's the dilemma:

I am at a stand still with my job situation. I hate this position I have been put in. I can't look for another job, outside of Allina, until after I have Elijah (because who would start another job at starting pay when I have a great one with great pay, and possibility of receiving Maternity leave (don't even get me started on the "possibility" part) for 6-8 weeks, plus all my saved up PTO and severance pay at 6+ months pregnant???) I am pretty sure whatever job I do apply for within Allina I will NOT get ONLY because I am not a current union member and all openings first interview union members. Even though I have been there for 3 years and will be laid-off. Does this make sense?

Do I make sense?

This situation totally sucks. Yes, it really really does! I am so stuck at a job that I wont have in 4 months, and all I can keep doing is apply for positions I know my application won't even be looked at. I no longer feel good and confident about my job loss, as I once did. I catch myself thinking about it way too much. And I really don't want to go backwards in life, but I fear working at Kohl's is in my near future. Great discounts though!

To go back to the thing I wasn't going to get started on...Days ago my wonderful boss (HA!) talked to HR about my maternity leave situation. She said with promise, (as if that makes up for her complete lack of care) "we all agree that giving you 6-8 weeks of maternity leave is the right thing to do." Still unsure if I'll even get it. Even though Ive been there for 3 years and will be working up until I have Elijah...Does this sounds familiar?

The only thing that is making life not so scary is the wedding money that has been coming in. It has helped more then I expected it to. Still no baby or house project debt (except for the $98 that the wedding cash and coupons didn't cover for paint and house supplies. However, I think Scott accidentally put that on the credit card...)

This is my life at a stand still....and I have never been so busy.