23...

...weeks


I can NOT believe it has been 23 weeks....well, only 19 weeks that we have known about the little one.

However today, while at work, I couldn't help but think about the time when I truly believed we had a miscarriage...

I had a rough beginning. I was bleeding. No cramps, but bleeding. I called the tri-age nurse only two times, but no ER visits. The amount of times I freaked out, cried and prayed are countless. At 8 weeks pregnant I made an appointment. I was so certain we were going to hear heart breaking news. I tried to prepare Scott and I for the worst. We both believed this long awaited pregnancy had ended. During the appointment my blood and urine were tested...and all was fine (PHEW!) I was relieved to say the least. I was also able to schedule a 9 week ultrasound to see the babies heartbeat.

The morning of the ultrasound. I was so nervous. I kept repeating, "Just let there be a heartbeat. That's all I need." Over and over again. Scott was so wonderful and supportive during this ugly time.

In the room it didn't take long for us to see his little heart beating so perfectly. The best image I have ever seen.

He was perfect.


I haven't reflected much on my IF days. However, I do hesitate to post baby news on Facebook in fear I could be hurting someone. I try to be sensitive. I know exactly how they feel...but my joy is something I have worked, cried, and fought hard for, for way too long.

His name is Elijah James and I can't wait to see his beautiful little face (I can wait! 17 more weeks at most!)

I find it a little ironic that at this moment when I'm thinking of all the bad I have gone through to get here...Eli is kicking like an Irish dancer. Making his existence well known.

Never stop kicking little boy.