Who knew

Who knew there was a thing called "Infertility Etiquette"

I stumbled upon this website and this is what I read....

Infertility Etiquette For Family, Friends and Ministry Leaders
HOW TO RESPOND:
Recognize infertility exists.
I am sorry that you're having to go through so much.
What can I do for you?
Teach me about what you are going through so I can better understand.
Never give up.
Keep believing.
It is okay to cry.

WHAT TO SAY:
Non-selfish comments.
Voice interest in medical treatments.
I'll be praying for you and your husband.
I am here for you.
God can do anything.
Give a scripture.
You'll be a great mom!
I can't wait to meet your baby!
Give a call on Mother's Day.
Remind them of God's promises.
Don't say anything, just listen and encourage.

WHAT NOT TO SAY
When are you going to have children?
Just adopt.
Are you sure you want to try for a child?
Shouldn't you wait until 'this' happens or 'that' happens?
Quit trying so hard.
From a medical specialist, "You will never have a baby."
Give up. Let it go. It will happen.
It is not the end of the world if you don't have kids!
Just relax.
You're too old to have a child.
Just stop thinking about it so much, then it will happen.
It will happen when you are least expecting it.
Just go get drunk.
There is more to life than just being a "mom".
At least you're an aunt. That's fun!
Complain about your own children.
Questioning the ability to be a mother.

Infertility Etiquette: Family Members
FOR HUSBANDS:
WHAT TO SAY:
"I accept you and love you know matter what."
"I am in agreement with you and praying for our children too."
"I am looking forward to having a family."
"You are doing a great job in your walk of faith for our children."
"I want a child just as much as you do."
"I feel your frustration of unanswered prayer."
"We can do whatever it takes."
"I believe we will have a child."
"No matter what, we together are a family forever!"
"My love for you will never change, whether we have a family or not."
"We can try again next month."
"Physical embrace, without words."

FOR HUSBANDS:
WHAT NOT TO SAY OR DO:
"It may not happen for us."
About miscarriage: "It's no big deal."
"I am not as ready as you are."
"Don't worry your cycle will come again next month."
The unwillingness to acknowledge there is a problem, and that we needed help.
Lack of faith to believe that God can do the impossible.
Asking too many "what if" questions.

FOR HUSBANDS:
HOW TO RESPOND WHEN SHE STARTS HER CYCLE:
Just listen and comfort her.
"We will try again."
"It's okay, we are going to get through this, I still love you."
"I'm praying for us. Our family is just right around the corner."
Hold her, cry with her, try to understand.
Don't act relieved.
Let her have her meltdown.
Give her space, time to wallow and then refocus.
Give reassurance.

KIND GESTURES YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR WIFE:
Request prayer at church for the two of you.
Buy a crib (Don't buy me a crib!).
Go to all of the doctors appointments.
After each fertility treatment, buy a gift that would be useful in pregnancy, even though she isn't pregnant yet!
Tend to her emotional needs.
Don't try to fix it.
Find a infertility support group and attend together, or drive her to one for women.
Give her some space.
Send her a card on Mother's Day.
Closeness and tender touch at the perfect moments.

FOR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS:
Let up on the questions, "Do you want children?" or "Where are my grandchildren?"
Do not treat the woman/infertile couple differently.
Do not test them on how they will react to other children in the family.
Keep the issue within the family.
Be their biggest cheerleader.
Get educated on fertility treatments and terminology.
Be sensitive that they may not want to share the highs and lows of the journey.
Ask how they feel, not just ask superficial things.
Encourage faith.
Pray with them.
Try not to fix the situation.

At family gatherings:
Be aware that the couple may not come around as often.
After the initial issue is shared within the family, don't sweep it under the rug.
Silence about the matter can be a killer.

FOR THE ONE GOING THROUGH INFERTILITY:
Forgive often.
Educate others about infertility.
Teach family and friends what to say and how to say it to you.
When on medication or going through procedure, be gentle with yourself.
It is okay to say 'no' to baby showers and children's birthday parties.
Write thank you notes to those who have encouraged you.
Try not to be angry with your spouse, or any one else!
Confront and let go of your hurts, never hold onto them.
Show affection to your spouse; tell them "I love you" daily.
Look past the mouths' of others and into their hearts, most have good intentions at hand.