A New Woman

Finally, a new leaf has been turned! I don't know what happened but after this past weekend, doing the whole BWCA thing, I feel great! I'm not constantly consumed with IF crap. I have more energy, I want to do things, I'm not sad, I'm not depressed (I hate that word, so when I use to describe myself I know it was bad), I can function again! YEAH!! Regardless of how I feel now, I needed to really FEEL what I did for however long it took. But, experiencing all of that I realized how much IF is misunderstood by everyone around, family, friends, husband. If you have a IF couple close to you I strongly urge you to read up in it. Not just medical facts but also the emotional impact on an IF woman. When it comes to an IF woman it's all about them. It's a very selfish condition, but that's also very normal and a natural feeling. (I didn't even truly understand until about a month ago when I let myself be that vulnerable) Oh. It is a horrible feeling. I really hope I won't have to go through those feelings again. ISH!

Update:

• IF specialist appt. has been cancelled and I am completely and beyond OK with it. Seriously, NEW WOMAN HERE!! I new appt. with OB at CMC has not been scheduled. I'm not sure at this time when that will happen.
• Camping trip was AWESOME!! I missed Scott, he would have had a blast! Weather could have been better. But, it made for an interesting trip!
• I've decided to start accepting my sisters invites to do things. Silly social anxieties. I went to the BWCA with three complete strangers and made three great friends. May have also met my future B.I.L. (ha, I wish).
• My ambition has soared.

I hope all these great changes in me stick around for a while. I do not want to feel that weak ever again. Or allow IF to have that control over me!

If you prayed for me, thank you. It worked :)